Just Read the Dosage and Quadruple That

My brain is mush today and it might be hard to keep focused with this update.

Last night. How do I describe a night like that? I just don’t know where to begin, so I’ll begin at the beginning. We show up to the party(ies) really late. On the way, Sexyback (by... ugh... Justin Timberlake) came on the radio and I found myself walking around the parties singing the lyrics to Paxilback (The Gray Kid and Daniel Stessen, who are worthy of praise) most of the night.
Party #1 was a blast, the people are all a bunch of tattooed freaks, deviants, weirdos and punks- not the common, neo-punk asshats that think punk means dirty and stupid. These people go all-out with their parties. There was a badass electric chair (it vibrated, but not QUITE enough) black lights, badass music, a giant hooka, and many, many hot people. Oh, and the best weed I’ve ever smoked. Truly.
One guy- the pics are online so I am going to post a few here- made the BEST costume ever. He was an abortionist. He had scrubs splashed with red paint and there were a whole slew of tiny babies stuck all over the place. He should have won the costume contest, as far as I am concerned, but he didn’t qualify as host. He loved my breasts. Yeah. They became the topic of conversation several times throughout the night. I thought a wife was going to attack me.
There was another guy (just happened to look like he could be brothers with an Aussie I once new) that I was lusting over, but I adored his gf. She was spunky and man, she was sexy as hell. I don’t think I’d have had a chance. With either of them. I admit defeat. Also, the gf could have kicked my ass.
Last time I’d gone to one of these parties, I ended up hanging out with this guy Derek, who’s nestled into the Detroit area music (rap) scene. Well, he’s normally far from my type since I tend to prefer more punky sorts. I’m not sure why, but last year, I had a great night with him and then left without either of us handing over a phone number. Since then, he and I have been asking mutual friends, at different functions, if the other was supposed to show up… and then we’d miss each other. Well, last night, I started getting excited about the possibility of seeing him again. And I get to party #1, and this guy that looks at me and goes, “Hey, Sarah! Your boy was just here, looking for you.” My boy, eh? Well, he COULD be, eventually. “Yeah, he went across to the other party.” So I say hellos and grab a drink and head over to the party across the street. When, after having to been to both parties, I couldn’t find him, I assumed he had left and parked my happy ass at party #1 and proceeded to get lit. I was considering hooking up with this one guy when I looked up and locked eyes with Derek. I don’t know if it was the beers, the jello shots, or The Liquor Luge*, but he was suddenly just there and I don’t know how but we were instantly attached at the hip. Lip. Whatever. He wanted me to stay the night with him, but I declined, going against every natural urge of my body. Still, I went home at 5 am. He said, “You can’t forget my phone number. Don‘t forget it.” and guess what... Sarah forgot all about his phone number. Life is funny like that. Now I have to make an ass of myself and call people. Ah, well.
So now I am recuperating from last night’s festivities. I woke up a little while ago, dyed my hair… ugh. It was supposed to be a dark brown but it’s black. Now, I’ll have to wear lipstick everywhere I go for it to work.

*The Liquor Luge is an alternative method to the standard in shot-taking. What you do is take a big tinfoil tray thing (think turkey dinner) and you fill it with water and freeze it. Then, you place it at an incline so the shots you pour over it run down to someone’s waiting mouth. The alcohol eats a path into the ice and blah, blah, blah, I’m sure you get the idea. My last “shot” was really about 4. Should I be proud? The guys were impressed. I almost threw up when they switched to Cuervo. Ugh.

P.S. If I had a decent grasp of HTML, I’d add that little thingy at the bottom of the post that shows the songs I’m listening to. I really have no clue. I am fully aware that if I start screwing with the coding, the whole blog is toast. So, any volunteers?