I've managed to attach my pic. yay me. Fixing this up will be slow going, if I do it at all. I just wanted a place to vent again.

While I can't imagine giving up all my vices, I am officially a non-smoker. That's right. No more sucking on a cancerous teat. I'm trying to get my life together. I'm actually doing an ok job of it right now. I have realistic expectations. attainable goals. a great job in the works and going back to school. FREE SCHOOL. I'm geeked.

I've been at the hospital a lot. a LOT. Oddly enough, it's not for my mother but for my aunt. It's all been a strange experience, watching the plastic vultures popping out of the woodworks, and sad at times, but I'm glad I've been there. I've never actually say watching someone die. Not like this. The last thing she said to me that I could understand was, "Don't let me go." I'm kinda dwelling on that. Some family members want her OD'ed and I really think (based on past experiences) that given the opportunity, they'd make sure it happened. I'll be heading back in a few hours but I need to sleep before driving back for the deathwatch. Oh, one last thing: Death starts at your feet. I necver knew that. It's called modeling. Look it up. it moves slowly up from your feet and usually, when it gets to your knees, your heart stops.

I'll post about the amazingly beautiful almost dead guy and the other completely dead guy later.