I love my mom
We're going to say this is a hypothetical. Yep, that's what'll be said.
My aunt died 2 days ago. She had cancer that matastasized(sp?), crushing a lung completely and spread into her pulmonary artery. She also had some tumors you could feel, just under the skin surface of her abdomen. There were also 9 tumors in her brain. It was a mess.
I was there for the family and my help and support were appreciated, that's what matters the most to me. That and the fact that now I have seen death. I've seen dying people. I've seen dead people, but I've never really witnessed the transformation until now. I thought that given my own mother's terminal condition, I should stay and watch and learn, and hopefully help prepare myself for what'll be happening to mom soon.
You see, I hate my family. They're mean, so fucking manipulative and greedy as shit. The only time we come together is when someone's dying. We actually bring cameras to funeral so we can get pictures of each other.
Anyway, I sat at the hospital, watching the plastic vultures drooling, listening to my dying aunt moaning and moaning in pain, non-stop for days. I also got to listen to an alzheimer's patient screaming "Hey! Let's go!" at the strangest points during my family conversations(each time, I thought of the ramones). My cousin, auntie's only daughter, was losing her mind so I volunteered to stay the night so she could go to the hotel and sleep and shower.
During one of the nights I spent in her room, my aunt woke up. She had a moment of clarity and looked at me, right in the eye, told me she loved me and then said not to let her go. Now, I just don't know what she meant. "Don't let me go" has unnerved me since she said it.
Anyway, this is the point of my writing today: this is what my strange, strange, mother did that almost got her not only banned from her dying sister's room, it nearly got her arrested.
One of my plastic cousins works for the hospital. It was she that first took note of my mother, standing over her sister, my dying aunt, pulling the breather bag from her face.
"What are you doing, Aunt Brenda?"
(You couldn't miss the craziness in my mother's eyes,or the grotesque snarl which revealed that she'd neglected to "put in her teeth.")
"You know exactly what I'm doing!"
"Put the damn mask back on. Look at her vitals."
"I'm well aware of her vital signs."
"Then you can see that they're going down. That'll kill her. You can't do that."
My mother, my tiny, sickly, insane mother responded by yelling, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" and pulled the breather bag even farther away.
The stats dropped rapidly, alarms went off, it was quite a fantastical, slo-motion kinda moment. The nurses flew into the room, likely expecting to reconnect a hose, reattach a sensor or something, then their mouths fell open and eyes widened in horror when they saw my mother hovering over her sister's unconscious form, taking from her the one thing sustaining her life.
They didn't arrest her, but because of the "suituation", no longer allowed my mom in the room without proper supervision.
Man, it was fucking priceless.
On another note, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. That's right, folks! I've officially joined the ranks of nut-jobs world-wide. Tomorrow I'm getting colonipin? I don't know how it's spelled, but I was given some and wowee. me likey.
Also, I have been contacted by someone that has created a server, and wants contributors to some of the branches available via his homepage. ? I can't describe comp-things well, obviously. Anyway, he'll pay writers, photographers, artists (Ford, I suggested you when he said he'd like a weekly political cartoon), and oodles of other contributors. Anyway, he's helping me get my novel published and he's giving me a motherfucking job. I'm still going to school, just in case, but some really good shit happened to me over the last few days (aside from death and being diagnosed as a crazy) that'll I'll be blogging about soon. Not that anyone's reading this anymore. I linked it back to my yahoo profile so that should change. Anyway, I'm happy. Fucking geeked, actually. That and crazy. wahoo.
We're going to say this is a hypothetical. Yep, that's what'll be said.
My aunt died 2 days ago. She had cancer that matastasized(sp?), crushing a lung completely and spread into her pulmonary artery. She also had some tumors you could feel, just under the skin surface of her abdomen. There were also 9 tumors in her brain. It was a mess.
I was there for the family and my help and support were appreciated, that's what matters the most to me. That and the fact that now I have seen death. I've seen dying people. I've seen dead people, but I've never really witnessed the transformation until now. I thought that given my own mother's terminal condition, I should stay and watch and learn, and hopefully help prepare myself for what'll be happening to mom soon.
You see, I hate my family. They're mean, so fucking manipulative and greedy as shit. The only time we come together is when someone's dying. We actually bring cameras to funeral so we can get pictures of each other.
Anyway, I sat at the hospital, watching the plastic vultures drooling, listening to my dying aunt moaning and moaning in pain, non-stop for days. I also got to listen to an alzheimer's patient screaming "Hey! Let's go!" at the strangest points during my family conversations(each time, I thought of the ramones). My cousin, auntie's only daughter, was losing her mind so I volunteered to stay the night so she could go to the hotel and sleep and shower.
During one of the nights I spent in her room, my aunt woke up. She had a moment of clarity and looked at me, right in the eye, told me she loved me and then said not to let her go. Now, I just don't know what she meant. "Don't let me go" has unnerved me since she said it.
Anyway, this is the point of my writing today: this is what my strange, strange, mother did that almost got her not only banned from her dying sister's room, it nearly got her arrested.
One of my plastic cousins works for the hospital. It was she that first took note of my mother, standing over her sister, my dying aunt, pulling the breather bag from her face.
"What are you doing, Aunt Brenda?"
(You couldn't miss the craziness in my mother's eyes,or the grotesque snarl which revealed that she'd neglected to "put in her teeth.")
"You know exactly what I'm doing!"
"Put the damn mask back on. Look at her vitals."
"I'm well aware of her vital signs."
"Then you can see that they're going down. That'll kill her. You can't do that."
My mother, my tiny, sickly, insane mother responded by yelling, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" and pulled the breather bag even farther away.
The stats dropped rapidly, alarms went off, it was quite a fantastical, slo-motion kinda moment. The nurses flew into the room, likely expecting to reconnect a hose, reattach a sensor or something, then their mouths fell open and eyes widened in horror when they saw my mother hovering over her sister's unconscious form, taking from her the one thing sustaining her life.
They didn't arrest her, but because of the "suituation", no longer allowed my mom in the room without proper supervision.
Man, it was fucking priceless.
On another note, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. That's right, folks! I've officially joined the ranks of nut-jobs world-wide. Tomorrow I'm getting colonipin? I don't know how it's spelled, but I was given some and wowee. me likey.
Also, I have been contacted by someone that has created a server, and wants contributors to some of the branches available via his homepage. ? I can't describe comp-things well, obviously. Anyway, he'll pay writers, photographers, artists (Ford, I suggested you when he said he'd like a weekly political cartoon), and oodles of other contributors. Anyway, he's helping me get my novel published and he's giving me a motherfucking job. I'm still going to school, just in case, but some really good shit happened to me over the last few days (aside from death and being diagnosed as a crazy) that'll I'll be blogging about soon. Not that anyone's reading this anymore. I linked it back to my yahoo profile so that should change. Anyway, I'm happy. Fucking geeked, actually. That and crazy. wahoo.
posted by sarah at 11:53 AM
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