So I am wanting a new job at a local hospital.
Scrubs make everyone’s ass look cute and there’s easy access to meds.
I’m joking.
Scrubs make MY ass look cute, not yours.
So I was told to go to human resources in a building nowhere near the hospital to fill out papers. I was told specifically to bring 5 copies of my resume and to be prepared for all sorts of testing (not blood, hair or urine. Whew!) SO, I show up at human resources with my multiple copies of my resume- that have been fluffed to perfection (I should be in porn)- and (See how I just toss commas and quotes and brackets and shit into my writing? Amen for editing, bitches.) when I get there, this bitch (probably the one that told me to come down to human resources with 5 copies of my resume) stares at me for like a full minute before telling me that they no longer take resumes in person… everyfuckingthing is done online. Nay, I do not leap across the counter and choke the bitch who dashed my hopes upon the crack rocks. Instead, I take my 5 copies of my resume, come back to my motherfucking house and fill out like 47 pages of online bullshit in hopes of finding the fantastic job with all the perks(drugs). I was told to wait a week and then call humanmotherfuckingresources. So I call them and they say that one line didn’t post in the e-bullshit and that I need to fill it all out again. I asked if I could just please, for fuck’s sake, take them my 5 fucking copies of my perfectly-polished resume and she said no, they no longer do anything in the human resources department that has anything to do with motherfucking resumes and that I have to fill out all 47 fucking pages AGAIN before they’ll hire me. Wahoo. And then I have to go in a different day for testing.. but not blood, hair or urine testing. Whew.
I just want the drugs, people.
MUST they make it that fucking difficult?
I mean, I just want to help people.
That’s all I want.
That and my friend with the vicodin to hurry the fuck over here and give me some.
xoxox
Scrubs make everyone’s ass look cute and there’s easy access to meds.
I’m joking.
Scrubs make MY ass look cute, not yours.
So I was told to go to human resources in a building nowhere near the hospital to fill out papers. I was told specifically to bring 5 copies of my resume and to be prepared for all sorts of testing (not blood, hair or urine. Whew!) SO, I show up at human resources with my multiple copies of my resume- that have been fluffed to perfection (I should be in porn)- and (See how I just toss commas and quotes and brackets and shit into my writing? Amen for editing, bitches.) when I get there, this bitch (probably the one that told me to come down to human resources with 5 copies of my resume) stares at me for like a full minute before telling me that they no longer take resumes in person… everyfuckingthing is done online. Nay, I do not leap across the counter and choke the bitch who dashed my hopes upon the crack rocks. Instead, I take my 5 copies of my resume, come back to my motherfucking house and fill out like 47 pages of online bullshit in hopes of finding the fantastic job with all the perks(drugs). I was told to wait a week and then call humanmotherfuckingresources. So I call them and they say that one line didn’t post in the e-bullshit and that I need to fill it all out again. I asked if I could just please, for fuck’s sake, take them my 5 fucking copies of my perfectly-polished resume and she said no, they no longer do anything in the human resources department that has anything to do with motherfucking resumes and that I have to fill out all 47 fucking pages AGAIN before they’ll hire me. Wahoo. And then I have to go in a different day for testing.. but not blood, hair or urine testing. Whew.
I just want the drugs, people.
MUST they make it that fucking difficult?
I mean, I just want to help people.
That’s all I want.
That and my friend with the vicodin to hurry the fuck over here and give me some.
xoxox
posted by sarah at 9:32 AM
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