Happy Halloween, fuckers. If things got any better, I'd be dead in a bathroom stall with a needle in my arm and some really nasty guy railing my still-warm corpse.
Sometimes, every single plan falls through. Last night was one of those times. It's almost as if there really is some big, cosmic skydaddy out there... and rather than tossing lightning bolts my way, he's hurling the negative, uncomfortable crap at me. I wanted to just enjoy, to feel but not dwell. I was expecting the E. Just E. No blow because I was worried about it's interaction with the opiates already in my veins. I just wanted to do a little rollin' with some friends, a nice, fun, stress-free night where I danced and touched everything that had beautiful dimensions. Maybe a lick here or there, but no stress.... did it work out that way? FUCK NO.
I find it sad when something is left unexplored- A high. An emotion. Whatever. But since I SUCK at relationships (I have the morals of a turnip, it's been said), nothing more than "just fun" seems possible unless I want the stress, the guilt, whatever. BUT there are still very important lines that must be drawn. ABSOLUTE lines
Like sex with non-hot friends.
Now, I love my friends. I do. but when the evening goes from "hey, let's roll" to "Hey, we should really fuck Sarah" or worse, "I have loved you for 10 years," it's time to get the flinging, flanging fuck out of the situation.
Frankly, he's not smart enough and she's not hot enough. Good thing, too. I spent all day trying to get over a hangover and every person on the damn planet called to tell me about the sex they had last night. I even had a few stop over so that they could give me the extra-descriptive version... you know, the one with all the faces and hand gestures. Anyway, it seems that everyone but me got laid last night and not one person used a damn condom. Not one. Do we not remember the lessons of our 7th grade sex ed teachers? hmmm? Oh, and half the stories were about friends that had relationships going with someone other than the person they went to bed with. So now I can't mention Joe to Lisa, Bob to Sue, Kim to Dan, Eric to Sue (same one, yeah), etc. etc. Keeping other people's shit straight is just not entertaining. Know why? because I am going to get drunk one of these days and I will then say something that incriminates them. There will be yelling, maybe some hair-pulling, who knows? What I do know is that the hair-pulling will not lead to sex with me because..... yep, no one used any condoms. Morons.
Tonight is a whole new night, though. I'm going to this block party that I fluttered around last year and man, it's like trick-or-treating for adults. Every house, a different substance. Yay! Not that I'd normally classify myself as an adult, mind you. But apparently I am. mostly.
P.S. I might be going to see Bob Dylan on the 2nd. wahoo!
Sometimes, every single plan falls through. Last night was one of those times. It's almost as if there really is some big, cosmic skydaddy out there... and rather than tossing lightning bolts my way, he's hurling the negative, uncomfortable crap at me. I wanted to just enjoy, to feel but not dwell. I was expecting the E. Just E. No blow because I was worried about it's interaction with the opiates already in my veins. I just wanted to do a little rollin' with some friends, a nice, fun, stress-free night where I danced and touched everything that had beautiful dimensions. Maybe a lick here or there, but no stress.... did it work out that way? FUCK NO.
I find it sad when something is left unexplored- A high. An emotion. Whatever. But since I SUCK at relationships (I have the morals of a turnip, it's been said), nothing more than "just fun" seems possible unless I want the stress, the guilt, whatever. BUT there are still very important lines that must be drawn. ABSOLUTE lines
Like sex with non-hot friends.
Now, I love my friends. I do. but when the evening goes from "hey, let's roll" to "Hey, we should really fuck Sarah" or worse, "I have loved you for 10 years," it's time to get the flinging, flanging fuck out of the situation.
Frankly, he's not smart enough and she's not hot enough. Good thing, too. I spent all day trying to get over a hangover and every person on the damn planet called to tell me about the sex they had last night. I even had a few stop over so that they could give me the extra-descriptive version... you know, the one with all the faces and hand gestures. Anyway, it seems that everyone but me got laid last night and not one person used a damn condom. Not one. Do we not remember the lessons of our 7th grade sex ed teachers? hmmm? Oh, and half the stories were about friends that had relationships going with someone other than the person they went to bed with. So now I can't mention Joe to Lisa, Bob to Sue, Kim to Dan, Eric to Sue (same one, yeah), etc. etc. Keeping other people's shit straight is just not entertaining. Know why? because I am going to get drunk one of these days and I will then say something that incriminates them. There will be yelling, maybe some hair-pulling, who knows? What I do know is that the hair-pulling will not lead to sex with me because..... yep, no one used any condoms. Morons.
Tonight is a whole new night, though. I'm going to this block party that I fluttered around last year and man, it's like trick-or-treating for adults. Every house, a different substance. Yay! Not that I'd normally classify myself as an adult, mind you. But apparently I am. mostly.
P.S. I might be going to see Bob Dylan on the 2nd. wahoo!
posted by sarah at 4:04 PM
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